Don't Be The Approacher

Now, let me get back to some basics here, yes, in order to improve your life with women, you must take action, and you must interact with women, and the more you do it, the better equipped you become for dealing with the large contrasting situations which may occur. The key difference in doing it to a healthy capacity rather than a detrimental capacity is balance.

Defining:

When you make the decision to better your life with women, a process begins, and with the majority of guys, the growth halts at a specific point, and they end up mindlessly running around in this space for weeks, months, or even years. This point is what I like to call “The Directionless Approacher”.

It is one of the most empowering moments in a mans strive for romantic efficiency and independence, when he takes that first step by himself, and chooses to go against societal norms, step outside his comfort zone, look fear in the eyes, and approach the first woman of his life. This may be in the street during the day, a coffee shop, library, or by a hedge, it’s irrelevant. The feeling of victory is POWERFULL. The emotional impact of taking this action is nothing to do with the girl you just went to talk to, instead, it’s completely to do with you, the man, facing his fears and feeling like a boss!

Great, you took the first step.

What begins to happen at this point for many men, is they become addicted to this feeling, and put everything else to the side. They spend insanely large amounts of their daily life aimlessly chasing after women, kind of like a dog chasing his tail.

Many of the clients I see for coaching are in this exact boat. They have approached women in the thousands, with little to NO actual results in terms of sexual intimacy, connection or internal happiness.

These men hit the approacher stage, and turn into robots. They become incredible proficient at walking up to a complete stranger and getting them to stop for a short period of time, engaging usually in a word for word conversational structure which has already been dragged through the other 600 approaches before her. I even hear of guys who tell me they are saving money and leaving their cities or towns to go to big cities like London to ‘practice daygame’. WHAT THE FUCK? That mindset is one that will not serve you. It doesn not matter where you are, there is always going to be some amount of women, be it large or small. In my opinion, seeing anymore than 4 girls at 1 time is not enjoyable, and is more work than its actually worth. Now if you are moving cities to get better passion opportunities, or to see a new culture or learn about another part of the world, great do it, i recommend it…but not to practice picking up women!!! Jesus!

Passion:

I want you to think of the men in your life that you are either currently friends with, or have simply come across in your lifetime, who are incredibly successful with women. I can pretty much guarantee you that these men do not spend the majority of their days, or even a noticeable amount of time chasing or approaching women?

Instead, the guys for the most part are more concerned with doing what they are passionate about in life, whether it be setting up their own business, or being unemployed and playing music in their moms basement. Both, very different on the superficial side of things, but internally they share the same quality…self worth!!!

Both men are internally qualified by themselves, and do not have the need to look for outside validation, especially with regards to how many lays he has accumulated.

They do not NEED women….but they do WANT women.

Let’s look at this scenario. A man who is not happy in himself or life feels confused and lost, as the art of interacting with women was never transferred onto him by a strong dominant male figure, i.e. father/mentor etc. (It rarely happens in our day and age unfortunately). So, he does the next best thing, he googles “how to get a girlfriend”…

This returns 1345,000,000,000 search results. He looks at some fancy websites where bulletproof guys promise him a brand new life, he watches their videos, likes their clothes, gets excited, books his training course, and it begins.

In this bootcamp he is made face his fears and approach women….blindly may I add. After this euphorical 2 days, he is now able to actively go out, and run after all the women he wants, without fear. The unfortunate issue is, all his internal loneliness, self hatred, Insecurities and confusion around who he is and what he is truly passionate about has been left completely unchecked or even questioned, swept under the rug.

So, now, he will spend his days, nights, and his emotional and physical energy desperately chasing women in order to reach whatever false sense of fulfilment is in his head, eagerly awaiting the next product release by his favourite pick up coach which he feels will fix that feeling he has of something which is still missing.

If he eventually gets to his goal, be it 10 make-outs or 5 lays(which is the proof he is worth it), then what happens? Nothing. Nothing happens.

This usually spirals, and he is left unfulfilled. Why? Because he has allowed something which is already a natural aspect of mankind take over his entire purpose.

Women become figures, numbers, and collections of digits. His ego begins to form a new perfect image of his newly found pick up persona. Words become overly practiced conversational structure. He begins to burn out, sadness ensues, and a new obsession is a must. The ‘approach junkie’…its most definitely a real thing. Just walk down Oxford Street in London…you can see all the tweakers running about getting their fix.

Balance

Now, let me get back to some basics here, yes, in order to improve your life with women, you must take action, and you must interact with women, and the more you do it, the better equipped you become for dealing with the large contrasting situations which may occur. The key difference in doing it to a healthy capacity rather than a detrimental capacity is balance.

What many men are lacking in the area of seduction, is a basic understanding of what is actually seductive to the feminine. Understanding of male and female polarization is key, which is what I teach.

A man who is aware of this foundation, does not NEED to, nor does not WANT to go out for 4 hours a day and blindly approach 50 women. How fucking damaged is that? How sad is that? What does that say about the man? Does he really deserve that beautiful women? What can this man offer her other than tips on how to go out ‘sarging’ or ‘daygaming’? For the most part, fucking nothing. I am being blunt here on purpose, because I want you to think, what do you have to offer a woman with your current lifestyle? I do not mean this in terms of money and fancy things, but rather in passion for life.

No woman EVER wants to be your everything, nor does she want to be your number one, or the reason you get out of bed in the morning, or why you have read those entire 75 eBooks 14 times a piece. With this understanding alone, the mere thought of spending the most part of your life ‘gaming’ girls seems like the worst thing to do.

GET OUT OF THE APPROACHER MINDSET!!! You are fucking yourself!

I often get asked by new clients, how many women do I approach per day. My response “none”.

I never ever EVER leave the house with the intention of going to approach women. Why the fuck would I do such a thing? I am already happy in who I am, plus I have shit to do, that I enjoy doing…I don’t need that shit. Its desperate, and women smell it off you. Stop going out to approach, instead, focus on living your life in a seductive state of mind, which again, comes from understanding.

As I tell my students, I never go out to approach, but if I see a woman I’m attracted to as I am on my way to get some milk for my breakfast then yes, I am going to go over to say ‘Hi’, and this is my way of interacting throughout my daily life.

If you’re doing 30 approaches a day, and another guy is doing none, but he is still having sex with new women every week…something isn’t quite adding up is it?

If you have no reason to leave your house during the day, then let that be your first mission, and focus on changing that. Join a class, take up a hobby, go for some exercise, meditate in a beautiful area. SOMETHING!

Do NOT make women your number 1 priority for leaving your house. Just fucking don’t! I have made a conscious effort to build who I am as a man ALONGSIDE building my understanding, and practical action when it comes to seduction. I have tried many things in my life to develop myself and be as well rounded and spontaneously driven as possible. I am a club DJ, I spent close to 5 years on commercial radio as a broadcaster, I’ve worked in a fast food take away, I am a barman, a PR worker, meditation coach, dating coach, black belt in Karate, a qualified Acupuncturist with a degree in TCM, I have spent 2 years in broadcasting college, on top of much more. I am currently 26, and clearly, I get bored easily.

The above point is not a desperate attempt to show off or to ‘DHV’(shudder), it’s to show you that even though I have put a great deal of my life into getting better with women (which I am still doing) I have spent just as much of that time relentlessly chasing passions, and expanding the concept of who I am. I am not exclusively any of the above. I am all of those things!

When a woman asks me what I do…I can only ever answer with “lots of things”, which pitter out over time in our getting to know one another.

STOP making women your priority! Balance.

Yes, interact with women every day, as many of them which attract you…but do not be going out to find them. Structure your lifestyle around it. Why not join a yoga class where there is going to be a very large amount of spiritual, bendy feminine creatures, also looking to improve themselves…all of which are wearing yoga pants may I add. Go there!

Understand what it means to be seductive, how to use sexual tension etc. Far less energy is needed than what you are already most likely putting into ‘impressing’ women.

I’m going to Leave it at that for today, and hopefully I have inspired some of you to re-think your current way of life.

If you would like to start your transformation to open up to your own freedom, make sure to check out my range of different coaching and mentoring packages HERE. Or maybe my Online Video Course may suit your situation better