I used to sit every day for 1 hour and be aware. I didn't miss a day in 14 months, my longest run. I miss the awareness and lessons/love it brought. For this reason, I started my meditation routine again a handful of days ago. The goal is first to form habit, with 30 days without missing 1. Then to 60. So on and so fourth. Here is a documentation of my experiences first hand, to help encourage others to begin the process also.
The busier and more successful my life is becoming, the more alignment I need to be in, and quite frankly I deserve it. It is an important time in my growth. Deep/consistent awareness is a must as i feel it will make my path much much clearer.
Im looking forward to the pain, resistance, frustration and internal adjusting that will land on me like a dump-truck of realness.
The reason for sharing this, is the same as everything i share: To inspire discipline and decisiveness in the men who are choosing to step up.
I wonder how, or if my content/message will shift or change the more I sit.
Firstly, let me preface by mentioning I dislike using the word 'meditation' because of all the attached complications and assumptions about it. In essence the technique is simple, but it sure is hell ain't easy. I sit, eyes open, do nothing specific, and just watch myself, my thoughts, senses, emotions etc. it's watching. Observing.
I allow everything. I focus on nothing.
I allow everything happen, everywhere. Both inside and outside. I allow it all. I watch it all happening in the moment, and I be with it, letting it all go. Again, and again, and again. I do NOT move once. Not a finger, not a lip, not an adjustment in posture. NOTHING. I allow everything.
Whether it is an itch, or excrutiating pain...I let it be, I watch it. I allow it, I don't resist anything. I stay COMPLETELY still and do absolutely nothing to 'fix' anything, with my eyes open, for 60 minutes, sitting upright on the very edge of a chair. Zero adjustments.
The following updates are taken from my Facebook Page
Day 3 of sitting in meditation no matter what.
I am a little hungover today after the San Juan festival here in Barcelona. But, being hungover is just an excuse. The challenge is 30 days of sitting In meditation...no matter what.
Today's meditation felt like I was standing outside a window, spying on my mind and seeing how utterly irrational and out of control it is. It's similar to a drunk baby with ADHD driving a land rover. How our minds are ever allowed in control of anything is spellbinding to me.
I will share what comes up in my meditations as daily as possible.
Today's gem: Meditation is basically the conscious practice of watching who you are being on a deep level. It is actually seeing through ALL of your processes.
How you relate and react. Also truly observing who your mind is being and how it behaves/what it tells you.
Day 6 of my "sitting in mediation for 60 minutes" challenge.
Today i completely spazzed out with anxiety and frustration for the first 40 minutes of HELL!
But once i stayed with the resistance...it eventually passed, and I was left in a deep quietness and connectedness for 20 minutes.
I have been a hardcore meditator since the age of 17, experimenting with many different styles and techniques. Today's session seems to have clicked my awareness back down deep, which i literally forgot was possible.
Many of us think we are present and awake, when really, we are not. Instead we are just running a script which is telling us we are super present. Me included. Todays session exposed all my own lies.
I combine 2 specific techniques when meditating that I feel have always had the greatest impact and resistance, which lead to a deep growth. A real growth. Followed by a real calm.
Many meditation techniques include audio guided and mantras. These are, in my own own personal experience is not true meditation. It is taking you AWAY from your own turmoil and resistance. It assists you in avoiding yourself and continuing to lie to yourself. Why do you think they are so popular for 'beginners'? because it is easy!!!
Contrary to popular belief...in my own long-term first hand experience, Meditation practice is not about blissing-out and quietening your mind(avoiding stress.) It is quiet the opposite.
Meditation is sitting in INTENSE internal resistance to allow the mess fluctuate so much, that it eventually implodes, dissolves and settles. The result...complete quietness, but usually for a blink of a second.
It is not all flowers and presence.
It is facing your chaos and learning to relate to it in a very realistic and aware way, so it ceases to arrive and build up again in you.
Day8 of 1 hour meditation sitting. Today's nugget:
Your deep internal happiness, connectedness and complete calmness, lays at the other side of all your resistance, pain, and suffering.
The ONLY way to get there, is to first process through and endure the storm, allowing it to pass through you. Without labelling any of it.
It is merely a random storm. It has no real meaning. You choose to give it a meaning and grip to it.
Let it run its course. It HAS to. Otherwise you trap it in a physical glass jar, ready to explode at any moment. It ends up governing the direction of your life and emotions.
Day 9 of 1 hour meditative sitting:
It has become MUCH easier.
My patience for simply being still has increased a lot. The initial intense resistance and superficial angst seems to have pretty much dissolved.
I enjoyed today's session for the first time as I could see what was happening as it was happening.
My lower back and pelvis muscles have gotten stronger and allowed me to sit more upright while relaxed.
I enjoyed it so much that I did another 20 minutes session about 3 hours after my scheduled 60minutes. I had some free time and noticed myself mindlessly flicking through social media. "I would much prefer to meditate" I thought.
That is the thing, the more you meditate and become aware, the more you become aware of the damaging and toxic behaviours in other areas of your life, when not sitting in meditation.
Ps: if you do guided meditation or listen to any type of audio while meditating...your not fucking meditating. Just sayin...
Day 13 of Meditative sitting:
Last night I had one of my girls over. I noticed a huge difference in my stamina and orgasmic control. We had penetrative sex for about 3 hours. It was intense, beautiful, overwhelming, and all the other good things. No matter how intense it became, i had full ejaculatory and full body orgasm control.
Being real, i had nothing to control. I had no feeling or desire to cum, as the experience was far more intense that blowing my load.
Once it got to the point she couldnt cope anymore, and was unable to use her words, I celebrated, by cumming!
I regained an amazing internal awareness of where my energy levels were at all time. I realised that before, i would get so caught up, I would gorge on the moment and forget where I was, resulting in my sexual energy getting stuck in my pelvis area...then POP!
Today, was day 15, and it was fucking HARD! Lots of resistance coming up. I felt quite a lot of anger and pressure in my chest which got almost impossible to just watch. I wanted to put my fist through the window, so I just sat until the bell went off and did my best to cope.
I am going to do another 20 minutes once I finish publishing this article to meet again with it, and see where it is at.
I am very grateful to be in this place again.
That is it for now. Any questions? Just ask below and I will answer as soon as I can.
Commit to excellence in your life from this point forward, and start your deep transformation NOW!...by checking out my wide range of different coaching and mentoring options HERE. Or maybe the ELITE GROUP may suit your situation better. See you on the inside!
Chris Bale's Blog
Founder & Head Coach.