Using a structure to encourage you to show up and talk to the pretty girl is better than using no structure and not showing up.
Using steps to make you feel more confident to talk to the pretty girl is BETTER than not showing up.
Doing something wrong to show up, is better than trying to get perfection before even showing up.
Let's be honest here, at the beginning of your journey, use whatever you need to in order to throw yourself into the land of women,
Whether that is a line or a step-by-step system(which I heavily disagree with as a way of long term relation) in order to allow you to actually take action, it doesn't matter.
If your not talking to the women you desire regularly, there is no amount of "right" that will change your reality.
If your only ability to say ANYTHING to a pretty girl, is to ask her for directions...then do that, because even that is better than allowing her walk past and out of your life without taking any sort of action.
If you need an initial crutch...use it, but QUICKLY transition to the most effective and attractive way...authentic and present expression, owning your desire and actions. That should be your goal.
I have actually come to terms with this element of my own growth, and I am grateful that I found the toxic 'pick-up' material back in the day.
It inspired me and showed me that I could possibly live in a way I wanted. If I didnt first find the bad, I wouldnt even be here right now. The bad gave me permission to show up.
If you need something INITIALLY to begin to lean into your edge and out of your comfort zone, I am all for that. The most important thing is once you begin the process, to quickly guide yourself into alignment with who you are and what you desire.
Showing up bad, is better than not showing up at all.
If you suffer hugely from anxiety in social situations, then take baby steps, where you are gradually stepping into more and more uncomfortable/tension inducing situations.
Start small, and be consistent in order to build a habit of actively stepping into tension. It is much more effective to take steps that make you a little uncomfortable, but you know you can achieve.
You could start by waving and saying Hi to 10 pretty girls as you walk past. Then you could give 10 pretty girls(or anyone) a passing compliment, without waiting for their response. Remember this is about you expressing yourself for YOU. It has nothing to do with the responses you get. Finally you can stop a girl and express what you like about her, and ask her out.
There is no right or wrong way, but you must be continuously leaning into your edge.
Many coaches advocate jumping into the deep-end straight away, but I can tell you from past experience, and after coaching hundreds of men, that this causes more of a negative internal response/reaction, which will stop you from climbing that horrendous mountain again. The shot of adrenaline it delivers is the usual response after taking a mass-approaching bootcamp. The guy finishes the weekend thinking he has it all figured out. Then he wakes up the next day, back at square one, alone.
Be gradual, and congratulate yourself each time you push your comfort zone. Have fun with it.
Talking to women is FUN, and rewarding in every aspect of your life.
Once you choose to not take any of this too seriously, you will find YOUR way quickly.
Commit to excellence in your life from this point forward, and start your deep transformation NOW!...by checking out my wide range of different coaching and mentoring options HERE. Or maybe the ELITE GROUP may suit your situation better. See you on the inside!
Chris Bale's Blog
Founder & Head Coach.