If you want to be amazing with women and life in its enteirity, then you must first be ok with being seen as weird, creepy, strange, stupid, awkward, nervous, and like you have no fucking clue what you are doing. This is most men's biggest fear. Stopping them from taking any kind of perceived 'risk' against the 'perfect' identity.
We are controlled by our self-created identities.
Most guys are so focused on getting good reactions from others, that they never break out of their own self-designed limits, because they assume they are ONLY allowed to get good reactions, as this is important to solidifying the identity they want to become.
I call bullshit!
You see, the reason for my own personal success and the reason I can happily put myself into situations where most other people would hide in fear, is because I am totally ok being seen as a weird loser who has nothing going for him.
Im totally ok with a girl being completely unattracted and uninterested in me. I actually welcome people who feel these ways. Just like I welcome those who assume the 'positive' things. It means nothing. Its simply an experience.
Not only do I meet amazingly beautiful women and have lots of sexy adventures, but I also weird people out on a daily basis.
I stay open with love, and laugh at the hillarity of life, people, and the fact all we really want is to meet another human and have a naked cuddle.
Humans wanna feel good feelings, and we want to share and exchange them with other human beings. We want to create them with other human beings we are attracted and drawn to.
The awkwardness and life debilitating fear most men have, comes from trying to be a specific image of a man, and trying to be smooth in an area where smoothness is not really a thing. It is un-human.
These contrasting conclusions of "he is weird" vs "he is really sexy" are external and individual assumptions based on you, in relation to another individuals beliefs and mindsets, in a very short and specific moment in time.
It means nothing.
The good, AND the bad. Both of them... mean nothing.
Dont cling or attach meaning to either. Do not base who you are or your core identity on either one of these responses/ situations/ conclusions. If you do, you will never be free.
Never will you have a self reliant happiness.
The reason I can walk into situations that others would run and hide from, is because I have nothing to lose. I have no deep attachment to being a specific guy. I remind myself to not take my identity too seriously, via interacting with the world and throwing myself out there to be judged and seen as MANY different identities.(based on the peoples assumptions and impressions of me)
I welcome all of these judgements and reactions, as it does me very good. It pulls me away from any one way of labelling and limiting myself.
I welcome the crashing and burning of any super-serious notion I have towards who I am because it only serves to keep me stuck, restricted, and afraid. Tip-toeing around life.
Do not strive for mastery, ever! Avoid mastery like the plague! Stay in the knowing that we really know nothing, and we never really will. Bask and play in that utter-fucking-cluster-fuck of vast, unlimited, and endless opportunity, to experience everything you want.
Free yourself from intelligence, and rather than trying to understand, learn through experiencing every different facet of who you are, via your relation to how others view you.
You are none of those things, unless you allow yourself to be, out of fear and a comfort addiction. If you are aware of this addiction in you, then go out of your way to do something that would usually inspire the response: "That's not really something I would do"
Fucking do it. You are not the fear constructed reality you have designed. You are an endlessly free being at your core.
Be judged. Be called the loser, the creep, the nervous guy, the shy guy, and be the guy who has NO idea what he is doing, but he DOES know where he wants to go.
I am not good or bad with women. But I do like myself. I do know myself. That is all that matters. I will not be blown in the wind of opinions. Neither should you. But to get to that stage, you must first experience it, be affected by it, and re-balance yourself. It is the only way homeostasis can occur. You can only avoid th storm for so long before it catches you and gives you no more choice. Most people lose their entire lives by avoiding their storm and picking the sad but comfortably controlled way. Living by other opinions and expectations.
Dont do it! You will regret it!
Being great in life is not about getting only good results. Being great in life is about being completely fine with whatever the fuck happens. This is where the champions in men rise from the herd. When you are ok with every outcome, you take every risk with excitement and openness.
Until next time,
Commit to excellence in your life from this point forward, and start your deep transformation NOW!...by checking out my wide range of different coaching and mentoring options HERE. Or maybe the ELITE GROUP may suit your situation better. See you on the inside!
Chris Bale's Blog
Founder & Head Coach.