It was getting too hot for me, and I had been laying on the beach, working on my laptop for the previous 3 hours. It was 12 midday, and I was getting ready to leave.
I cleared up my stuff, rammed my gigantic beach rag into the bag, chucked it on my back, and began walking up the sand towards the pedestrian boardwalk.
As I was walking, I was smiling slightly. I was feeling really good, functional, purposeful, and calm. I was enjoying the people chirping around me. I was enjoying the good vibes being thrown everywhere.
Now, realise that I was on a beach jam packed with gorgeous women for the last 3 hours, some of whom were in VERY close proximity to me, but I did nothing, nor did i feel the need to 'approach'. Why?
Was it because I had approach anxiety?
Was it because I didnt know what to say?
Was it because I didnt feel attractive?
Was it because I assumed that talking to a half naked hottie on the beach was creepy?
No, it was none of those things. I was occupied doing something I adore. Something that excites me.(my businesses)
I would look around, see the pretty girls, admire them, and smile affectionately within myself. Not for them, but because their essence made me feel even nicer in myself. It added to my situation, and lit up my ambition. All the girls, were like the cherry on-top of my already very enjoyable day.
I remember meeting 'pick-up dudes' and coaches before.
They would force themselves in every moment to go and chase girls, which would only confirm to me their confusion and unfulfillment within themselves. It would only confirm the sheer lacking of a greater purpose in their lives.
Many of these guys couldnt even be in a normal conversation with me for longer that 60 seconds, as they would leave it to run after their presumed notion of external happiness, only to come back 'rejected', or after clutching the emotional validation net that was her number. The promises of treats lay ahead to quell the internal avoidance and self-worth issues. As if the taste of vagina would somehow make all his insecurities go away and lace him with forever happiness.
These guys also did not know what to do when I brought my girlfriends/lady friends around them. They would go into a hyper-state of jitteryness, trying to figure out what stage to begin interacting on.
So much pick-up studying, that they could not even be normal and at ease around a woman.
Many would even ask me...."Chris, there is so many hot chicks walking past, why dont you approach them all?"...
"Because I am already busy being happy", I would say.
Don't get me wrong, talking to pretty girls is in the top 3 things I love to do in my life, and I do it everyday...but you will NEVER find me chasing a girl down, Im simply no longer that guy. I did it for a log time. I now feel where it truly came from.
There is no part of my being, as a man, that desires running after copious amounts of women to get something from them.
When I see guys doing it, is shows me a specific stage of their growth (which we are all continuously moving through our entire lives).
As I said, I am busy being happy and purposeful, not as a 'cop-out', or a 'worthier than thou' way, but as a fact.
What you will see me doing, is being curious with large amounts of people everyday, many of whom, are women.
In reality, I dont go out and game any girls, but I have fun with MANY of them, and have sex with loads of them, all the time, while I go about my daily life. (take note that just because I CHOOSE to sleep with many girls, this does not make me 'good with them', or 'better' than a man who chooses to be with one woman for many years. This is about being good with yourself, your integrity, truth, and vulnerability, which is what I see lacking in the men who need coaching from me, or the majority of 'pick-up-artist and dating coaches.
Having sex with loads of women is actually very easy, and in some cases much easier than being in an extended intimate relationship, so do not get that shit twisted. The main Idea is you should be at a place in your life where you have the ability to choose how you want to live right now, and have that happen quite easily). Sex is what we are, where we come from, and my most favourite thing, as it calls upon me to exercise my ability to be fully conscious, present, and assisting with the woman/women involved. It is always a beautiful shared experience of realness.
Where does all of the ápproach´panic come from in men? Maybe it has something to do with the toxic mould of dating/relating that is ever prevalent in the mainstream. Maybe its the fact that everything which is taught to us as a civilization, is delivered from the point of view of "you are not enough, so you must do this extra shit, and buy all this extra shit to make up for that".
So, back to my story...
Im walking off the beach, and I sit my ass down on the board walk to dry off my feet, and put on my socks and shoes.
There I see a tiny dog by my side, eating something on the sand...
"Dayyyum, you're hungry, you are eating sand" I say to the dog, assuming he speaks English, in Spain.
I hear the owner come up behind me to leash her dog and say 'no no don't eat that silly boy'.
"Are you talking to me or the dog?" I said.
She was extremely gorgeous, blessed with curly hair and yoga pants that adorned her perfectly plump buttcheeks, and caramel skin that made my tone look albino.
"Oh the dog, sorry", she giggled.
"Come on now, maybe he is on to something and we can all share it. Im hungry", I said, amused by myself and the situation, enjoying her energy.
I turned my head away again, and back down to the more important and pressing matter at hand...the putting on of the shoes and socks dilemma, which I was previously dealing with, before this brazen dog and his sexy human interrupted me.
"Where are you from?" - She asked me, re-starting the conversation, wanting to re-engage with the easiness and playfulness I had previously shared.
I was also curious.
We spent the next 20 minutes sharing more curiosity, playfulness, some vulnerability, and moments of sexually deep eye-contact.
"You are a pretty good stranger", I told her.
"Haha You are a really awesome stranger too", she said.
It was good. It was easy. We both wanted nothing more than to enjoy the curiosity....which led to us both liking what we were about, which eventually led to connection, orgasms, and a new very awesome friend.
The way you are relating to women...If you find it hard...maybe you are doing it wrong. Just maybe.
Not by fault though, so don't blame yourself. It was conditioned. You really don't have to be trying so hard.
I do know what it is like to be in that shitty place though. I know it well, as I was there before.
I have spent the last few years helping hundreds of guys one on one, and thousands who I have never even met, relate in the most powerful way with themselves, life and women!
Hit me up, I can tell you the truth.
Commit to excellence in your life from this point forward, and start your deep transformation NOW!...by checking out my wide range of different coaching and mentoring options HERE. Or maybe the ELITE GROUP may suit your situation better. See you on the inside!
While I'm at it...Santa Clause is not real. There. You're welcome!
Chris Bale's Blog
Founder & Head Coach.