Hey...You! Yeah, you!
Im pretty sure you remember the warning given to you as a child: "Never talk to strangers" because you are at risk of being stolen or molested. You can thank that person for your fear and brainwashing when it comes to meeting and connecting with new people effortlessly. Yeah...fuck you mom! I never once took accepted the free candy from that man wearing the long trench coat at the park. I regret it!
Well now that you are a big boy, we need to get clear on something:
You should be taking to new people, and strangers ONLY exist, if you give them that label, and relate to them in that way.
Stop beginning interactions with women and new people in general as a stranger!
What does approaching a woman look and feel like to society? A stranger who is there trying very hard to pick her up.
For the love of baby jesus on a jet-ski, stop going up and introducing yourself 'officially' and making a big-deal out of something which means absolutely fucking nothing right now.
If your interactions with girls are serious, logical, stressful and really not fun and easy...that is because YOU are giving them no other choice. You are arriving to them, with a specific vibe. This vibe stems from how you are relating to what you are doing; talking to pretty girls.
You create and deliver a specific space that they must step into. If they want to interact with you, they have no choice. They must step into your vibe. Most men are actually starting the interaction off in the most uncomfortable and super serious way. Remember, women want to have FUN! (i do not mean this in a clown way)
Pick-up is very stressful for guys when they start learning and practicing. I have BIG name pick-up coaches in the industry come to me for coaching due to these issues. These names are obviously kept confidential as all my coaching clients are. The point is, even the guys who are out there, day in and day out, taking money from men to coach them in broken mindsets, have a stressful way of relating with women and strangers. They are running a broken model.
This is entirely down to how they are relating to the girl; as a stranger, or women they must win over and impress.
In society, we view people we do not know as 'strangers'.
We have a specific way of relating to these people we see as 'strangers', who are almost seen as a different species. In a split second people will click into their 'interacting with a stranger' persona. Similar to the 'interacting with authority' persona. It comes from the social conditioning that 'first impressions mean everything'. It is a pressure fuelled vibe of behaving in the way you assume everyone will be most willing to accept you.
Please see the bullshit behind this. Not only is it disrespectful to yourself, but also to the person you are interacting with.
When you relate from the stranger way of being, you empower this vibe and make it even more uncomfortable for both people involved in the conversation. If open with the stranger vibe, then the other person must meet you half way and click into theirs. It's fucking gross!
It is fake, lacking any truth, and hideously un-grounded. It lacks realness, which is always going to hurt your spirit, and hers.
When a man is on one of my coaching programs, and he is speaking to me, he is doing so in a specific way. The same way he would converse with his best buddy(once he has adapted to my vibe of not really caring about first impressions of course). When he turns to stop a pretty girl to talk to her, his ENTIRE vibe changes. His body language changes. His voice tonality falls into a million tiny little pretty pieces. He sets the tone. Which she must click into.
The both bask in the pressure fuelled disrespect!
When I speak to a girl, or any person I do not know, I do so in the same way I would my best friend who I fuck-around with. The tonality, the vibe, the un-seriousness of it all stays intact. When I say 'hi' to her...it is how I say 'hi' to my friend. What does this do? Allows her to step into a much more secure and easy-going space. Nothing is 'officialized'...Its is already happening in a flow. Who cares.
Also, I never go up to 'try and meet her'. Which only leads to a semi-automatic machine gun of boring-ass questions. You may as well just hand her a CV and a pen to fill out if that is the case.
Assume you know her, and begin speaking/flirting with her in that manner.
Assume she already knows you are interested in her, and the need for you to verbally state it and follow a list of instructions is not necessary. Because Its obvious. I am a man and I have chosen to randomly start talking to her. Duh!
Basically...just walk over and start speaking words. Just as you would with your friend.
90% of women will only be open to being sexual with you once they have experienced being in your presence for a bit. Some 5 minutes, other 3 hours, and so on.
Giving her quick and awkward ultimatums on your 'approach' is idiotic. I truly believe that If i just BE in the presence of a woman for a specific amount of time, she will be inspired to explore us sexually. That is literally all it is. Give her the opportunity to be in your space in order to experience your vibe and presence without any needy try-hard attempts that do not fit into the vibe.
When you allow her experience you, she begins to become familiar with you, comfortable engaging with you, and turned on. Nature is on your side here.
Your job is basically to not push her away out of fear! Can you manage this? Can you gift her the time with you she needs?
Ways I have started fun, genuine, and flirtatious conversations with strangers today:
-Your scarf looks warmer than if i lit you on fire...I am here to save you...from bursting into flames...through the power of flirting shamelessly with you...
-Where did you buy your alien? (referring to her pug)
-Hey...I need suncream. Im very Irish.
-Excuse me...Girl walking like she is late for church...Have you seen me on instagram? Because i get that a lot.
All the above is completely unplanned and the pointless shit that falls out of my mouth. Which is exactly what happens when I am around my friends. No pressure, and I am not trying to do or get anything from her. I'm there to explore, amuse myself, and experience the dynamic in an effortless space.
The above is an example of my own personality and humour. Please do not copy anything. Be whoever YOU are.
If you are interested in really learning this way of being in person, or via skype, check out my different coaching options for you HERE
What is the basis of learning 'pick-up'? To not suck with women.
What happens to guys who learn pick-up? They learn techniques to avoid sucking with
women. Then deal with huge amounts of fear incase they do something 'wrong', which will mean they still suck with women.
What are men afraid of? Sucking with women.
What do I teach men? How to embrace sucking with women...which actually in turn allows them to express themselves fearlessly and enjoyably, combined with a deep internal and external understanding of the masculine/feminine dance...resulting in....wait for it...
Being with an abundant amount of AMAZING women, or with the one woman of his dreams effortlessly, who desires a man who is ok with his own vulnerability.
Being vulnerable and feeling bad is not being weak. Hiding and avoiding the fact you feel vulnerable and bad IS weak.
Stop being so silly and just book one of my coaching packages! You owe it to yourself, and Chris needs to buy his new Malibu Barbie Beach House.
Commit to excellence in your life from this point forward, and start your deep transformation NOW!...by checking out my wide range of different coaching and mentoring options HERE. Or maybe the ELITE GROUP may suit your situation better. See you on the inside!
Chris Bale's Blog
Founder & Head Coach.