Identifying what she wants
“It’s a numbers game!”
“The more you approach, the more you get rejected, so just deal with it and keep on fighting the good fight!”
“Accept that 70 percent of girls simply won’t be interested in you.”
“Get used to rejection.”
“Say fuck you rejection.”
“I don’t care because at least I’m being direct and saying exactly what I want, so this makes me an alpha male guy.”
The chances are will have heard at least 2 or 3 of the above statements, and you may very well believe them, so much so, that they have become an integrated part of who you currently are.
Let me first state that this way of thinking is coming from a deep fear, a very stubborn fear and this fear is learned, coached, installed.
Enter you; enter your new world like a blind man irresponsibly swinging a bat of strangled masculinity.
I know this, because I experienced it.
How do you move through life? Or at least picture how you would like to?
Do you want to be the bull in the china shop, aka, the boy who blindly runs after women, without presence and awareness, throwing his unedited thoughts at the opposite sex in an aggressively stupid way, expecting to reap the sexual gratification of 30 percent of the women he meets? Afraid!
Do you want to be the suave, charming MAN, who uses his masculinity, sexual intelligence, and sensitive awareness to draw women to him? Without having to chase? Without playing a numbers game?
I have experienced both, I know which guy I have chosen to be, and that is the latter.
Being the bull in the china shop is so appealing at the beginning because it feels like an internal rebellion. A giant fuck you to the rules, to society. In many cases there is even an underlying sense of aggression and sadness to it, at least there was in my case, and in many other guys I have seen go this path.
You are encouraged to speak your mind like a real man, and in a sense, be stupid! Socially stupid. Encouraged that it never matters what she wants; only what I want, because I am the man.
It is a very easy way to be, blissfully ignorant, not willing to face your own fears. It is much easier for a man to blurt out exactly what he is thinking to avoid any confusion. The process reminds me of how a drunken baby would behave, and there is nothing sexy about a drunken baby…unless your chosen sexual partner is Gary Glitter.
I “behaved” in this way for many months, accepting stupidity as my saviour.
The statements at the top of this article all became very true to me. I did get rejected FAR more than I got lucky. That was exactly it…luck! If you play that game…you are dependent on raw luck!
Now that I move through life with intelligence and a deep overwhelming sexuality that I can play with, I don’t get rejected to an extreme sense. I honestly cannot remember the last time I have had a woman reject me. This does not come from any type of manipulation or dishonesty, it comes from the opposite, supported by a foundation of understanding of what side of my masculinity she wants and craves.
Because I now know myself to a profound level, I know all the different facets of what I can offer the feminine at any point.
Does she crave my sensitivity? My leadership and dominance? Does she want to be aggressively swept off her feet in mere seconds? Or does she want to be seduced in a gentle art form of sexual tension which is drawn out?
Identifying what she wants successfully = no rejection!
You need to see yourself like a sexual chameleon of finesse and refined smoothness, adapting when needed to your surroundings, this is real strength. The simple art of understanding her will drive her wild; it is one of the sexiest qualities you can display to a woman, as it is SO rare in a man.
In she floated, perched almost on her tip toes, as she gracefully walked in. Tall and slender, porcelain skin, big almond eyes, with a tiny waist and one of the most beautiful asses I have ever seen, which was supported magically by her tight flowery yoga pants.
She carried herself with such confidence. This was not a fake “fuck the world” type confidence, but a loving self assurance, combined with strength. I could immediately tell this girl knew exactly who she was and what she wanted.
After a while of studying her expressions and movements in an incredibly desiring way, I walked over and introduced myself. I did not “approach”…because she is not a dangerous animal which I need to proceed with caution. She is a beautiful woman, so I naturally walked over to establish connection with her, and hope to god that she inspired more desire in me….
I feel my tonality drop; I begin to shift into my intuition.
She was very confident when I locked eyes with her and extended my hand. We exchanged glances and names; she was also comfortable enough to hold my hand as I spoke with her. She did not swoon.
She did not get weak at the knees.
She did not blush
She did not get overwhelmed by my presence.
She was quite business like…even with her warm smile.
Chris was confused!? What’s happening? Why has she not immediately declared her love for me?
Old “direct guy” Chris would of immediately thought “nope, she’s not interested, it’s a numbers game move on”…But that was old Chris…
This was around the time when I was developing a heightened sensitivity to the micro-reactions women display. It had been born through a large number of sexual interactions in the previous months.
I could have just said fuck it, it’s too much work and gave up before I even started, but instead, my beliefs were much different. I truly believed that she was only disinterested in me, because I have not yet taught her how to be interested in me.
I immediately gauged that being very verbally forward and/or sexually aggressive with this girl would be like pissing against the wind. It’s far too easy, and she is far too evolved to even entertain it.
She is so aware and sexually confident, that she wants a partner who can handle her sufficiently and demonstrate similar qualities of strength…
I was right!
On the first interaction with her…I could have classified that as a rejection. But I didn’t. Instead I was intelligent, and indentified what she wanted. She wants to be emotionally and sexually stimulated by a man who is well versed in the fine art of seduction.
The days following our first contact, I watched my realization become a very clear reality. A conveyor belt of sexually forward and verbally direct men approached her on a constant basis, only to be chewed up and spat out. Many of these guys were incredibly good looking and well dressed men. The only problem…they were the bull in the china shop.
For the first 4 days of being around her I didn’t even speak to her, instead, I’d simply make eye contact, strong, sexual eye contact. Feeling my desire for her overflow and engulf her.
In some instances I would walk up to her slowly, with presence, and just look at her beautiful almond eyes. She would gaze back…breaking the gaze when it got too much. FINALLY! I had begun to attain a level of sexual dominance over her. THIS is what she wanted. A man strong enough to handle her. She felt it. She felt my confidence in how I could make her orgasm in more ways than 7!
After about a week of intense glances, and telegraphing, the time had come.
Nothing sexual was said. Ever. It didn’t need to be said. Casual conversation was conducted, mainly on her part. I didn’t smile very much. I didn’t feel the need to. I was a hungry Lion, deeply breathing in order to keep the blood flow pumping in my erect penis.
A few days after conversation had started, cuddling began! In between her time spent chewing overly eager and unaware guys up and spitting them back out.
She came to me, everyday, straight away, sitting in between my legs, wrapping herself around me. I would gently bite and kiss her neck, sensually. She told me this makes her horny. I affectionately pulled her hair and ran my fingers up her thighs, in an incredibly animalistic way. Every way I interact with her is the same as a lion would communicate with his chosen partner. Biting, squeezing, pulling, all done in a powerfully secure, but gentle way, all the while displaying I could devour you whenever I wanted.
She was exposed and she loved it.
We have become energetically very close. I know her and she knows me. We both respect the process.
She appreciates the fact I know and understand at any given moment what she wants. She does not get this freedom and presence from any other man. I’m the guy!
I’m was never desperate to fuck her.
This, in itself, says more than anything about the type of man I am. I can induce insane levels of sexual desire in her and myself, but I am controlled enough to resist.
If this was any other girl, she would have gotten bored a long time ago. This is the difference in identifying what a particular woman wants.
Identifying leads to success.
Being stupid…does not.
Every man is intelligent if he chooses to be.
What do you choose?
Chris Bale's Blog
Founder & Head Coach.