I had the severe misfortune of being in the company of a friend of a new friend last night.
He just so happened to be every RSD infield video meshed into one loud, obnoxious and embarrassingly try hard man.
Me and my brother kept having to walk away from his presence just so we could be chill, normal, expressive, fun and inviting with new people.
It was one of the most repulsing experiences I have had for quite a while since rejecting requests to hang out with 'dating coaches'.
He was a show of a human being, who I can only assume is a nice guy who just doesn't feel enough, so he must scream "HEY GIRLS YOU JUST HAVE TO MEET MY FRIEND".
I want to first clarify that I called him on it straight away. The first thing I did was ask "why are you trying so hard?" and "why are you behaving like an RSD video?". He laughed it off, ignored it, and continued. So I didn't bring it up again. I do not share value unless it is wanted. I believe we are all free to behave in the way we want to.
This is my opinion on how this specific guys way of being was incredibly detrimental to not only himself, but everyone else around him.
Every group of girls he started talking to always ended up gravitating over to me and my brothers side. We were asking people "do you believe in spaghetti and if so, why?"
Also we were being sisters last night, not brothers. We were talking about our own personal experiences with period pain while holding girls hands and cuddling with them in a pit of their warm giggles.
At one point I moved a specific way and even spilled some of my drink on a girls dress. This resulted in me rubbing her swimsuit area with my elbow while saying "I will use my elbow to grope you as it's less sexual right now"...to which she said with bright eyes "you can use your hands I dont mind".
I could feel RSD guys brain turn into a thick plate of wet cake as internal meltdown began to occur. System overload. "What type of mystical state-transference is this"
Every time one of RSD guys girls would escape him and step into the easy honest fun of me and my brothers side, the common dough eyed looks would happen as they wanted us to take them to the beach etc. We were both too busy having fun to go to the beach and be sexual with these girls. But mainly because my brother was out drinking the entire night before resulting in tiredness, and I was incredibly drained from a ridiculous amount of sex the night before with a beautiful girl I am seeing.
Our intentions were the same as everywhere we go... to explore people and have fun for us, nobody else.
The result of this just so happens to create a vacuum for women. They feel safe, intrigued, and spend the majority of the time wide-eyed and giggling, even if they have no clue what the fuck we are talking about. Its all about vibe.
This is a welcome escape from the guys in the club trying their upmost to impress girls and get 'pussy' like horny 'in-state' lions.. It is a shitty space created by most men at some point, but NO MORE POWERFUL than needy groups of 'pick-up artists' emulated their favourite infield dating instructors. I use the words 'instructors' VERY fucking lightly.
Me and my brother were actually sharing our value with the people around us. Not attempting to leech it from others. The girls would 'escalate' with us. Then get confused why we were not quickly trying to get them.
"I dont even know if I like you yet, and you should get to know me a bit more too. Take it slow" I mentioned at one point, while putting her hand on my bum.
This 'RSD infield' guy was SO damaged that as the girl is having fun and flirting on my side, his long 'AMOG-arm' would stretch in, grab her by the wrist and physically pull her away from me and my bro, Only for her to politely step out of his clutches and retreat back to our side.
His obnoxiously loud and fake 'state-pumping' laughter would bellow over everyone as he tried to anxiously regain internal control out of fear/competition. Im not sure who he was competing against, but he was playing a game that involves a desperate amount of unnecessary work.
All i was thinking is 'i dont care man, if you need her so badly to 'win', just take her, shes not interested anyway, but stop ruining the fun and being weird'.
We kept moving further away...but the girls would get closer, so he would follow.
Another example...we are all in a circle group having fun and joking. The girls attention was placed on my side and he obviously hadn't heard his own voice for a while, so in the most socially uncalibrated way...in order to regain "power" he shouted over everyone "your fucking cute. Who are you. Come come" while extending his hand.
Everyone fell silent and looked at him. The girl quickly ignored the comment. The whole fun vibe....destroyed. Awkwardness insued.
This dude was also a handsome man physically. It doesn't mean shit.
I could feel him staring as I was having fun meeting and flirting with new awesome ladies.
He can only assume he was attempting to logically dissect my "game"...while completely missing out on the most important underlying internal qualities I was sharing with other human beings.
I decided I had to leave his toxic space. I suppose his initial answer when I asked him "why do you go to clubs" should have told me enough:
"To pick-up chicks. I don't drink(so he can be on his game). You know I'm not like most people. I don't have to be drunk to talk to people. I'm just really good at it."
No sir. No you are not. You're good at talking AT them. Not with them.
Please use this example as a warning. If the guy ever wanted coaching....I wouldn't even take his money. There is nothing that would inspire me to be around a guy with his way of relating. I also assume if he ever reads this, his desire to be around me would be quite limited.
At this point we are simply different men, operating with different mindsets towards life, not even just girls. That is the smallest part of this. Nobody is right or wrong. But I know that he could actually connect with the women he desires much MUCH easier. But first, he needs to get good with himself, in his own skin.
People say there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance. Bullshit. They are completely different ways of being, stemming from completely contrasting ways of relating.
To men everywhere...You are worthy as you are. You just need some new ways of relating with yourself, girls and life. Combined with saying words to new people. Book me for coaching...simple!
On Facebook, I had a guy ask me:
'Coming from a damaged place yourself, don't you feel pity at the poor guy?'
My response: My role is not to feel pity for anyone. Pitying helps nobody. It is a toxic version of empathy. It allows them to stay in their avoidance. I offer my respect to men. Respect that i know they can be better and call them on their shit, if they force themselves to be in my space. But, i don't go around attempting to save anyone. Not my role either. If a man asks and is open, i share endlessly. For someone who is very closed, wasting my breath and energy is not priority. I feel sorry for no man...but I fully empathise.
Commit to excellence in your life from this point forward, and start your deep transformation NOW!...by checking out my wide range of different coaching and mentoring options HERE. Or maybe the ELITE GROUP may suit your situation better. See you on the inside!
Chris Bale's Blog
Founder & Head Coach.