I had a beautiful moment earlier today as I was going through some junk I was throwing out. I came across my little red book, which I used to write in a few years ago, when I was first starting my journey on the path of masculine alignment.
You may find it a little difficult to see, but there is a cat called bob on the front, which I drew, to protect my hopes and dreams. Basically, I couldn't draw a fucking unicorn. Bob worked just fine.
At this time in my life, I was very seperated from my masculine desire and edge. I was sexually hidden and ashamed.
Below is the note that I wrote to myself. This was my statement from me, to me. I was tired, lonely, and full of stress. I was strangling my expression and my own masculine divinity. I was holding a huge secret, about the fact I LOVE women deeply. It's the most painful decision I ever kept to myself.
I spent my days and nights watching women who inspired me, walk past me, without ever sharing myself with them.
Im going to be honest. Reading this back today, struck a chord and was pretty emotional for me. I remember the pain that young man felt every waking minute. I remember the shame. I even remember where I felt the pain in my body and heart.
Since then, I have exposed myself as a lover of women, and this note to myself was the beginning of that. My decision to 'give up' trying was the greatest decision I ever made.
Give up, now!
I have transcribed this note below, as the writing may be difficult for many to understand.(please see below this pic)
" I GIVE UP. Im just going to tell her how I feel. Im just going to tell her I like her. That I am attracted to her. Simple.
I GIVE UP trying. Fuck it. I give up trying to figure out how to deliver it. I GIVE UP.
I am attracted to her. I like her. I dont care if that gives her more power, or If she has heard it all before. It s true for me. So I say it.
I am afraid of telling a beautiful woman I like her, because I am afraid she wont value me. Im afraid she wont acknowledge me as different. I GIVE UP trying to avoid it.
I embrace it. I am telling her I like her & there is nothing she can do about it.
My fear about being tossed in the same pile as other shit men no longer strangles my experience.
Damn right you know you're attractive & Im going to tell you anyway."
Do whatever you want with this, but I hope it can help set you free also.
The biggest lesson I learned from this journey so far, is that men cut off their expression out of fear. Fear that his expression will give away his power. I have found out, this is so far from the truth.
Only a man who own his own value understands he can never lose it. He chooses to share it, regardless of the responses. Only a man who is full, can put himself fully out there, without ever losing anything.
Commit to excellence in your life from this point forward, and start your deep transformation NOW!...by checking out my wide range of different coaching and mentoring options HERE. Or maybe the ELITE GROUP may suit your situation better. See you on the inside!
Chris Bale's Blog
Founder & Head Coach.