I had the beautiful pleasure of finally intimately exploring with a beautiful and chaotic woman, whom I have danced with (metaphorically) for the previous 3 months.
The slightly younger me would of gotten all pissy and panicked the fact she wouldn't sleep with me the first time, nor the second, nor the third.
The less grounded me would of questioned his "skills" and attractiveness.
The old fearful me would of thrown the "alpha" wall up in order to not risk being vulnerable and having no control on the outcome. He would of called it quits not to risk his rep.
The earlier confused me would of labeled her as a frigid prude, and not the type of girl for me.
Luckily, those scenarios would have been the outdated version of me.
Instead, i did not "push it" in a needy and desperate plea for external validation.
I cherished the dance. Celebrated my unwavering carefree desire for her, which not once turned sour or resentful. Even after the 456th time of not reciprocating my lean in for a kiss.
Most men(including the old me) would assume she is a bitch playing power games.
I didn't care what she was doing. I was fulfilling my role, showing up in my full intention, consistently and patiently. Not expecting anything from her, but letting her know if she is in my presence, i will be naughty. All the time. So she will just have to put up with it or leave.
Her way of being had me endlessly curious and patient, holding space, to allow her settle into me, if she should so choose to. If not, it's irrelevant, as flirting with her and seeing her real beauty light up when I am expressing my silly and honest self was worthwhile enough.
Ask yourself...why right now? Why must you get her right now? Why must you get her at all? Have you not already got yourself?
The way I see it, is I am already arrived. All i must do is leave her the time and space to meet me there. However long it takes her little legs to get there, she WILL eventually ring the bell.
How do you relate to women? Are you the guy needing sex? That is the guy who blows himself out.
You don't need it.
I would like to add on, that I am currently sleeping with other woman in my life, which most definitely cuts off that overtly desperate cloud of horniness. This is why drawn out seductive dances are possible. There is no 'need' attached to it. But, I want to also state that it is not essential for you to have a harem of any sort. This way of being is propelled by how you relate to your own sexual desire, and the permission you give yourself to show up in alignment.
I would like to finish by including a quote of one of my statuses from my facebook page, which should highlight all that is needed:
"Chris, what do you mean when you say the friend-zone isn't even a thing?"
Me: Easy. The women I have desire towards, whether we are intimate or not, I behave with her as if she is my lover...she has the decision whether or not that is something she would like to be around or not.
Commit to excellence in your life from this point forward, and start your deep transformation NOW!...by checking out my wide range of different coaching and mentoring options HERE. Or maybe the ELITE GROUP may suit your situation better. See you on the inside!
Chris Bale's Blog
Founder & Head Coach.