Hey, today I want to share with you a short and to the point response which I answered for one of our ELITE group memebers in the private facebook group. May I add that this group is full of awesome men sharing and supporting one another of similar paths. Its a hell of a lot of honesty and practical understanding in a group dynamic, for less that $1 per day. You really need to be in there!
The question asked:
Chris, it says that men crave variety in women, or even variety within the same woman. If she can be sweet and loving and caring but also a cock loving slut and everything in between, it is less likely we will look around (or not as often). But what does it mean that women crave a man's depth, what kind of depth? Any example?
This is a great question, and I will attempt to answer it via text, in the clearest way possible.
The depth she craves is the depth you have in yourself, in terms of self-knowing, connection to self, and actualization of that knowing. Aka being in full alignment...with or without her, or anyone else for that matter. This means reaching a place of internal fulfillment and happiness, from a very large amount of internal reflection, and facing ones fears head on. This, from my own experience and in meeting other deepened men, it is not overnight and is reached through a process of highs and low-lows. A large part of my 1-1 coaching work is based exactly on this process. In my opinion, it is the only true way, to guide a man into the eye of his own magnificent power.
You see, your depth is as deep as your own self-reliance, certainty, trust, friendship and love for yourself goes. For these qualities are true internal confidence devoid of any situational confidence. It is a whole, well rounded confidence, which is present regardless of your situations, surroundings or the opinions of others. Men in today's society have no edge, no depth their unique solidarity. Instead they are flighty, reactive, always worrying if they are doing the right/best thing, and building their entire lives around impressing others in order to prove their worth. This, of course, falls down, and is highly situational. It is a difficult and stressful way of being, and is a poison of society's conditioning in men.
We are instructed to do right, by someone else's set of rules. The reason their is so much pain and frustration within masculinity at current, is because this goes against our intrinsic nature as men, warriors, leaders, and explorers.
In terms of depth when it comes to women, she wants and needs her man to have all those things listed above for himself FIRST, so that she can be an add-on and support to an already full and dynamic presence, who is possible of loving deeply, and receiving ALL of her gifts without internal fear or conflict.
What does having this depth result in?
For her, it results in feelings of trust in you, as you already trust yourself. Do not expect to harbour feelings in another which you do not already resonate with and feel for yourself.
Your depth, It allows her safety and stabilization in her life/being when her own chaos sweeps her up in a frenzy...and it WILL sweep her up in a frenzy.
This natural and beautiful chaoticness of the feminine, is what makes her so incredibly sexy to men. The more femininity within her, the more she is open to her own power, the more chaotic and ever-changing her winds of emotion will be. This is her beauty. Most men, cannot handle these moments. Instead, he unhinges from his own stabilization, becomes reactive, caught up in her moment, argues or attempts to fix the situation, and in-turn, is completely useless to her deepest needs. She needs your presence, clarity, and stabilization. Just as you need her nurturing, her love, and her powerfully sexy vibrance to bring you a softness.
She wants to be ravaged by your ever knowing edge. Your vulnerability. Your honesty. Your desire, AND your fears. She wants to feel and be with your internal freedom. Freedom which you must first go out and grab by the balls by unlearning all the bullshit you have been tranquillized and blinded with.
I hope that has helped paint a clearer picture, and given you some guidance in where you currently stand in my above explanation, and what you may need to do in order to deepen your own life as a man.
If you would like to start your transformation to open up to your own freedom, make sure to check out my range of different coaching and mentoring packages HERE. Or maybe my Online Video Course may suit your situation better.
Until next time,
Chris Bale's Blog
Founder & Head Coach.